Supporting Roles: Mary & Martha
CCEA
School of Discipleship
February
1, 2026
Introduction
Welcome to our fourth class in our series titled “Supporting Roles”.
This week we will be focusing on the sisters Mary & Martha.
First, just a word about Superbowl Sunday is next week (Feb.
8). Just so you can plan for it, we will NOT be meeting in person, but I will
still be making a video for you all to watch and email you a link next Saturday
so you can watch, take the quiz, and email me your answers.
Homework review
Assignment:
Read Romaine: The Reason for
Writing This Book (2 pgs)
I hope you’ve started reading
Romaine. I had a blast reading this
week. I think I can still hear his voice and see the scowl on his face.
Over the coming weeks we will try
to fit in some time to discuss Romaine.
Memorize:
(Mark 10:43–44 NKJV) —43 Yet it shall
not be so among you; but whoever desires to become great among you shall be
your servant. 44 And whoever
of you desires to be first shall be slave of all.
Mark 10:44
So this week we are trying to add Mark 10:44 to
our brains…
(Mark 10:43–44
NKJV) —43 Yet it shall not be so among you; but whoever desires to become
great among you shall be your servant. 44 And whoever
of you desires to be first shall be slave of all.
As you know, I like to look at the original languages, like Greek. Language
is a little bit tricky at times. We don’t always get some of the nuances when
someone speaks.
Illustration
Dad is down at the auto dealership, looking at potential choices.
“Cargo space?” he asks.
The salesman, slightly confused, finally replies, “Car no do that... car go road.”
(that may take awhile to get…)
A good way to study some verses that sound the same is to look for where
they are similar and where they are different.
There are some words in verse 43 that are exactly like those in verse
44. There are some words that are
different.
Some key words that are the same (in the Greek):
“whoever desires” is exactly the
same in Greek.
Both express that “potential” wish or desire for
something.
“shall be” is exactly the same
in the Greek.
It’s actually a “future” tense,
but specifically what we call an “Imperatival Future”. These are commands.
If someone should want to become “great” or “first”, then
they are commanded to …
Some words are different.
Verse 43 uses the word “great” – megas
Jesus isn’t necessarily picking on the “top dog”, but just
someone who just wants to be better than the average disciple.
Verse 44 uses the word “first” - protos
This isn’t someone who wants to be just a “great”
disciple, but the top dog, top of the disciple list.
Verse 43 uses one word for “servant” – diakonos
This is someone who gets something done when he’s asked,
it’s being someone’s “assistant”. It’s used for someone who serves food and
drink like a waiter.
The focus of the “servant” is on the work that he does.
Verse 44 uses a very similar, but different word, “slave” - doulos
The word carries the idea of “one who is solely committed
to another”.
The focus of the “slave” is the relationship with his
master.
Jesus uses it in contrast with the one who wants to be “first”.
If you want to be “first” above all the other disciples,
then you are not just committed to doing the “work”, but to be wholly committed
to all the other disciples.
The “first” one doesn’t command others, he serves them.
Or, in this case, all the other disciples.
Illustration
F.B.Meyer: “I used to think
that God’s gifts were on shelves one higher than the other. The higher you reached the more you
received. Now I know that God’s gifts
are actually on shelves one lower than the other and
the lower you bend the more you receive.”
One last picture of what it means to be a “slave”, a doulos.
You’ll notice that the NKJV sometimes will translate this as “servant” instead
of “slave”, like here…
(Luke 17:7–10 NKJV)
—7 And which of you, having a servant plowing or tending sheep,
will say to him when he has come in from the field, ‘Come at once and sit down
to eat’? 8 But will he not rather say to him, ‘Prepare something for my
supper, and gird yourself and serve me till I have eaten and drunk, and
afterward you will eat and drink’? 9 Does he thank that servant because he did the things that were commanded him? I think not. 10 So likewise
you, when you have done all those things which you are commanded, say, ‘We are
unprofitable servants. We have done what was
our duty to do.’ ”
The word “serve” in vs. 8 is related to our diakonia word. All the other words translated “servant” are doulos, or, “slave”.
Note: These words are so similar they are often
interchangeable. But when they are used together (like our passage in Mark 10),
we see a slight nuance.
Diakonia focuses on the “work”. Doulos
focuses on the Master.
Back to this Luke passage. Please don’t get me wrong here. I think it’s a good thing to say “thank you”
to others.
But too often we are “serving” with the expectation of
getting something out of our service, whether friends, profit, or even just
“thanks”.
Yet serving or “slaving” should be all about our
relationship with our Master.
It’s all about doing what He asks us.
We don’t always know why He asks us to do things, but it
would be good if we just learn to “obey” and say, “We have done what was our
duty to do…”
Mary & Martha
Their names
We looked at the name “Mary” on our first week (Mary Magdalene).
Her name comes from the Hebrew name Miriam, or the word marah, which means “bitterness, rebellious;
obstinate.
“Martha” comes from a Chaldean word meaning “dominant one, mistress, she
was rebellious, lady”.
I know I’ve spent time each week telling you about what the “names” of our
study subjects mean. But to be honest, sometimes
we make just a bit too much out of the meaning of names.
Illustration
Someone wrote, “My new neighbor lady owns several cats. On a recent visit
to meet her, she introduced her cats to me.”
Neighbor: “That’s Astrophe,
that’s Erpillar, that’s Aract,
that’s Alogue”
Me: “Where on earth did you get such unusual names?”
Neighbor: “Oh, those are their last names. Their first
names are Cat.”
Back to Mary & Martha, I have a hard time thinking of either of these
ladies as “rebellious”…
We are going to look at three separate passages where Martha and Mary show
up.
Luke 10
(Luke 10:38–42
NKJV) —38 Now it happened as they went that He entered a certain village; and
a certain woman named Martha welcomed Him into her house. 39 And she had
a sister called Mary, who also sat at Jesus’ feet and heard His word. 40 But Martha was distracted with much serving, and she approached Him
and said, “Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Therefore tell her to help me.” 41 And Jesus
answered and said to her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about
many things. 42 But one thing is needed, and Mary
has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her.”
:38 he came to a village
We know from other passages that the “village” was Bethany.
“Bethany” can mean either “house of figs” or “house of misery”
Play Bethany Map video
The village of Bethany is located on the road from Jerusalem to Jericho.
It’s only about two miles east of Jerusalem, just past the Mount of Olives.
Today you can even visit the “Tomb of Lazarus”.
:39 who sat at the Lord’s feet
Quiz Alert!
Lesson
1. Learning and Yielding
This is what disciple does, sitting at the feet of their master.
You see this even back in the time of Moses, when Moses speaks of God’s
relationship with His people.
(Deuteronomy 33:3 NKJV) Yes, He loves the people; All His
saints are in Your hand; They sit down at Your feet; Everyone receives Your words.
It is interesting how the various translations handle this
verse. Many will say “Your saints are in
Your hand”, but have a footnote saying it’s actually
“His saints”.
It’s almost as if Moses is saying that all
of the Father’s saints are in the hands of Jesus, sitting at Jesus’
feet, receiving Jesus’ words.
Just like Mary.
Sitting at someone’s feet implies submission.
When Joshua conquered the land, he ordered his captains to put their feet
on the necks of the kings they had conquered (Josh. 10:24)
(Joshua
10:24 NKJV) … Joshua called for all the men of Israel, and
said to the captains of the men of war who went with him, “Come near, put your feet
on the necks of these kings.” And they drew near and put their feet on
their necks.
Having their feet on their enemies’ necks meant the
enemies had surrendered.
Are you surrendered to Jesus and sitting at His feet?
The “footstool” was where your enemies were to be placed, where you showed
your dominance. David wrote,
(Psalm
110:1 NKJV) The Lord said to my Lord,“Sit at My right hand, Till I make
Your enemies Your footstool.”
Has Jesus “conquered” you?
Mary is also giving us a picture of humility
Humility is the position to be in if you want to receive more from God.
Peter wrote,
(1
Peter 5:5b NKJV) …for “God resists
the proud, But gives grace to the humble.”
The word “humble” here is tapeinophronosoune,
“lowly” + “mind”, and is
Paul uses the same word here –
(Philippians 2:3 NKJV) Let nothing be
done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind
let each esteem others better than himself.
Part of how our “humility” is measured is in how we relate
to others.
St. Augustine wrote,
“For the waters pour down to the lowest part of the
valley, but flow away from the rising of the hill.”
Do you as a disciple want to hear from your Master today?
It starts by sitting at His feet.
Every day. Learning from Him. Yielding to Him.
In contrast to Mary, Jesus said to Martha…
:41 worried and troubled about many things
Quiz Alert!
Lesson
2. Serve with balance
There is nothing wrong with being a “servant” like Martha.
We’ve been learning a lot lately about learning to “serve” others.
But there comes a time when, if you’re not careful, you can find yourself
doing “too much”
When you find yourself complaining about how others aren’t serving as hard as you, something is wrong.
You’re out of balance.
I’d suggest she is doing just a bit too much.
Illustration
Some time ago, a newspaper in Tacoma, Washington, carried
the story of Tattoo, the basset hound. Tattoo didn’t intend to go for an
evening run, but when his owner shut his leash in the car door and took off
with Tattoo still outside the vehicle, Tattoo had no choice.
A motorcycle officer named Terry Filbert noticed a passing
vehicle with something that appeared to be dragging behind it. As he passed the
vehicle, he saw the object was a basset hound on a leash.
“He was picking them up and putting them down as fast as
he could,” said Filbert. He chased the car to a stop, and Tattoo was rescued,
but not before the dog reached a speed of twenty to twenty-five miles per hour, and rolled over several times. Don’t worry…
(Tattoo was fine but asked not to
go out for an evening walk for a long time.)
-- John Ortberg.
Leadership, Vol. 17, no. 4.
Does that sound like you sometimes? Do you feel like you’re “picking them up and
putting them down as fast as you can”?
We need to be careful that the serving we do is
being led by the Lord and not by people.
We need to be careful that the serving we do is supported and empowered
by the Lord.
(1 Peter 4:11b NLT)
…Do you have the gift of helping others? Do it with all the strength
and energy that God supplies. Then everything you do will bring glory to
God through Jesus Christ.
The problem comes when we start operating outside of the
energy that God supplies.
That’s when we get cranky.
Back in 2016, I found an interesting article –
Illustration
Bill Hybels (“The Character Crisis,” Preaching Today, Tape No. 57.)
writes,
I’ll never forget the letter I got from a fallen leader.
He wrote: “Let me state my position on the matter of your needing to slow
down.” (He was talking to me.) And he said, “I think I have a
better-than-average perspective based on my past experience
of ten years as a pastor, five years as a conference speaker. For most of those
years I preached or taught over three hundred times a year. I know the
incessant demand to deliver material that first would be true,
and then be moving and witty and sometimes eloquent. I know that every
waking moment for me was spent, one way or another, engaged in amassing
material for sermons. Add to this counseling, personal witnessing,
administrative responsibilities of running a church, and you have an overly
full schedule.
“With all of this, I found myself missing (or conveniently
overlooking or justifying) growing signs of problems in my home. Cries for help
from my family were drowned out by the roar of the demands of fulfilling my
holy calling. When the cries ceased, I assumed the problem had been solved, but
it was only that a death had occurred in my relationship with my wife. She now
preferred a fantasy relationship with an imaginary lover over the real one she
had with me. When I found out there was another man in her life, I was crushed.
When the divorce came, I was shattered.
“For seven long years I never preached or taught. The
voice that had ministered to thousands was silenced.
The ministry that had won hundreds to Christ, by his grace, was terminated. In
those days, Bill, I knew of no flaw in my devotion to Jesus. There was no
extent to which my zeal for him was not willing to go. I was determined that
the gifts God gave me would be used full bore. However, Bill, here’s my point:
Satan shrewdly turned my strengths into my weaknesses.
“In my zeal to serve the Lord and effectively use the
gifts that he gave me, everything else was viewed as competition and at
cross-purposes with the goal I was consumed by. Please, I plead with you, don’t
let this happen to you. Spend time away from the demands of leadership. When
someone points the finger of stinging criticism at you for being away from
leadership, think of me. Determine you will not let your ministry and your
dreams come crashing down around you like mine did around me.”
Bill Hybels, the author of this article, was planning to retire from
ministry at Willow Creek Church in October of 2018 (two years after the
article). Instead
he was forced to resign in April 2018 under allegations of sexual misconduct.
Take heed to the warnings
friends.
God wants us to serve Him, but He wants us to serve Him in
His strength, and in the things He’s actually called us to do.
John 11
If you read your assigned reading this week, you read through John 11 where
Jesus raises Lazarus from the dead.
John tells us the event took place in Bethany, where Lazarus, Martha, and
Mary lived.
That’s that village about two miles east of Jerusalem.
We could spend weeks looking at various aspect of
what happened in Bethany, but since our goal is to learn about Mary &
Martha, I just want to single out a few places.
If you recall, Jesus heard Lazarus was sick, but instead of coming
immediately, Jesus waited a few days…
(John 11:20–27
NKJV) —20 Now Martha, as soon as she heard that Jesus was coming, went and
met Him, but Mary was sitting in the house. 21 Now Martha
said to Jesus, “Lord, if You had been here, my brother would not have died. 22 But even now I know that whatever You ask of God, God will give
You.” 23 Jesus said to her, “Your brother will rise again.” 24 Martha said
to Him, “I know that he will rise again in the resurrection at the last day.” 25 Jesus said
to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in Me, though he
may die, he shall live. 26 And whoever lives and believes in Me
shall never die. Do you believe this?” 27 She said to Him, “Yes, Lord, I
believe that You are the Christ, the Son of God, who is to come into the
world.”
:21 Lord, if You had been here
Quiz Alert!
Lesson
3. Jesus understands
It sounds to me like Martha is
pretty upset with Jesus for not showing up in time to save Lazarus.
Mary will say pretty much the
same thing in vs. 32
(John 11:32 NKJV) Then, when Mary came where Jesus
was, and saw Him, she fell down at His feet, saying to
Him, “Lord, if You had been here, my brother would not have died.”
But if you pay attention, Jesus
does not rebuke either Martha nor Mary.
He doesn’t say, “How dare you
question me!”
Instead, notice how Jesus
reacts:
(John 11:33–36
NKJV) —33 Therefore, when Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who came with
her weeping, He groaned in the spirit and was troubled. 34 And He said,
“Where have you laid him?” They said to Him, “Lord, come and see.” 35 Jesus wept.
Illustration:
As my sons were growing up, there were times when I had to tell
one of my boys “NO”.
And they didn’t always like to hear that word from me.
Yesterday I was hearing my own son experience this with
his own children.
And when our kids were little, there might be times that I
would even get an emotional response like, “I hate you!”
And though I didn’t enjoy hearing that
come from my children, I knew that at this stage in
their maturity, that they were going to get past it.
Jesus understands when you are upset and you don’t
understand.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not
trying to encourage you to
complain when you don’t understand.
But I
want you to know that Jesus understands.
(Psalm
103:14 NKJV) For He knows our frame; He remembers that we are dust.
He knows that we are flawed.
(Hebrews
4:15–16 NKJV) —15 For we do not have a High Priest who
cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we
are, yet without sin. 16 Let us therefore come boldly to the
throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of
need.
He can sympathize with us in our weakness.
We need to learn to run to Him instead of complaining.
(John 11:38–44
NKJV) —38 Then Jesus, again groaning in Himself, came to the tomb. It was a
cave, and a stone lay against it. 39 Jesus said, “Take away the stone.” Martha, the
sister of him who was dead, said to Him, “Lord, by this time there is a stench,
for he has been dead four days.” 40 Jesus said to her, “Did I not say to
you that if you would believe you would see the glory of God?” 41 Then they took away the stone from the place where the dead
man was lying. And Jesus lifted up His eyes and said, “Father, I thank
You that You have heard Me. 42 And I know that You always hear Me,
but because of the people who are standing by I said this, that they may
believe that You sent Me.” 43 Now when He had said these things,
He cried with a loud voice, “Lazarus, come forth!” 44 And he who
had died came out bound hand and foot with graveclothes, and his face was
wrapped with a cloth. Jesus said to them, “Loose him, and let him go.”
:43 “Lazarus, come forth!”
Quiz Alert!
Lesson
4. It’s not over
For Mary and Martha, their “complaint” to Jesus was based
on the assumption that it was “over” for Lazarus.
But it wasn’t.
We may not understand the difficult things that are happening to us.
Sometimes things seem kind of “final”.
But we serve a God who knows what He’s doing.
God may not raise your “Lazarus” from the dead today, but
until Jesus comes back, you don’t know what kinds of things God has in mind
with the difficulty you’re going through.
Back in the book of Genesis, I imagine that Joseph could have gotten pretty upset when his brothers sold him as a slave to the
Midianite traders.
I imagine he might have been frustrated being a slave in Potiphar’s house.
I’m sure Joseph could have been angry when Potiphar’s wife falsely accused
him of taking advantage of her, and he got thrown into prison.
I would imagine that Joseph got frustrated in prison when he interpreted
dreams for two of Pharoah’s head ministers, and the cupbearer forgot to tell
Pharaoh about him, and he was left in prison … for two years.
Yet throughout Joseph’s life, one phrase keeps popping up over and over…
(Genesis
39:2 NKJV) …The Lord was with
Joseph…
But for those of you who’ve read the story of Joseph, you know that his
story didn’t end in prison.
The cupbearer did finally remember Joseph.
Joseph got to interpret Pharaoh’s dream.
Joseph got promoted to be the number two man in Egypt.
And Joseph basically “saved the world”, including his own
family back in Canaan.
When Joseph’s brothers finally begged him for forgiveness, look how he was
able to reply:
(Genesis
50:19–20 NKJV) —19 Joseph said to them, “Do not be
afraid, for am I in the place of God? 20 But as for
you, you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good, in order to bring it about as it is this day, to save
many people alive.
Think about the difficult things you might be going through.
It’s hard not to sink into discouragement or frustration.
But God’s not finished yet.
You don’t know the end of the story.
Martha and Mary were initially quite upset with Jesus, yet the story wasn’t
finished.
Jesus was going to raise Lazarus from the dead.
Jesus was planning on displaying one last great miracle
for Israel before He was arrested and crucified.
John 12
(John 12:1–8 NKJV)
—1 Then, six days before the Passover, Jesus came to Bethany, where
Lazarus was who had been dead, whom He had raised from the dead. 2 There they made Him a supper; and Martha served, but Lazarus was
one of those who sat at the table with Him. 3 Then Mary
took a pound of very costly oil of spikenard, anointed the feet of Jesus, and
wiped His feet with her hair. And the house was filled with the fragrance of
the oil. 4 But one of His disciples, Judas Iscariot, Simon’s son, who
would betray Him, said, 5 “Why was this fragrant oil not sold
for three hundred denarii and given to the poor?” 6 This he
said, not that he cared for the poor, but because he was a thief, and had the
money box; and he used to take what was put in it. 7 But Jesus
said, “Let her alone; she has kept this for the day of My burial. 8 For the poor you have with you always, but Me you do not have
always.”
:3 the house was filled with the fragrance
Quiz Alert!
Lesson
5. Extravagant Worship
I would imagine that Mary’s gift to Jesus was at least in part because of
her gratitude for Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead.
Yet Jesus said that Mary’s gift was also to prepare His body for death.
Her gift of love to Jesus was given before
it was too late. Instead of giving roses to Jesus at His funeral, she gave them
to Him while He was still alive.
(Wiersbe) “Her act of love and worship was
public, spontaneous, sacrificial, lavish, personal, and unembarrassed.” [1]
Jesus called it a “good” work (Mat. 26:10)
(Matthew
26:10 NKJV) …For she has done a good work for Me.
The Greek word here for “good” is kalos, a word
that can be translated as “beautiful, handsome, fine” or something that is
“good, useful” at the highest level.
Qualities of Extravagant worship:
a. It is costly
Her gift to Jesus was very expensive.
It was priced by Judas to be worth “300 denarii”, or an
entire year’s worth of wages.
When David wanted to acquire the land to build the Temple, initially it was
offered to him for free. But he replied to the owner…
(2 Samuel 24:24 NKJV) …“No, but I
will surely buy it from you for a price; nor will I offer burnt
offerings to the Lord my God with
that which costs me nothing.”
When you worship, there will be a cost.
It might cost you your pride. It
might cost you a relationship.
It might cost you your bitterness:
(Matthew
5:23–24 NKJV) —23 Therefore if you bring your gift to
the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24 leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be
reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer
your gift.
b. It can be misunderstood
Some of the disciples weren’t sure what to make of Mary’s act. It’s as if
the other people at church didn’t get it.
Judas Iscariot raised the biggest stink, saying the
perfume should have been sold and given to the poor (though he was a thief and
was skimming off the communal money).
When David brought the Ark of the Covenant into Jerusalem, he danced before
the Lord, AND he had a bad reaction from his family.
His wife Michal didn’t understand. She called David an
embarrassment.
(2
Samuel 6:20 NKJV) …And Michal the daughter of Saul came out to meet David, and said,
“How glorious was the king of Israel today, uncovering himself today in the
eyes of the maids of his servants, as one of the base fellows shamelessly
uncovers himself!”
Not everyone will understand what you are doing when you worship.
c. It blesses others
When worship is done for the wrong reasons, it doesn’t bring
a sweet smell to the house, it stinks up the place.
It’s kind of like trying to play a piece of music with the
wrong instrument. Do you remember hearing the “Vuvuzela” at the World Cup
Soccer games …
Play “Vuvuzela” clip …
https://youtu.be/R1yPh6s-wPg
When worship is done correctly, it affects those around us. The fragrance
fills the entire house.
Spikenard doesn’t have an offensive odor. It’s a beautiful smell.
spikenard comes from a fragrant plant found in the
mountains of China, India, and Nepal.
The underground stems are crushed and distilled into
aromatic oil, used in perfume and medicines.
Jesus said this was “for His burial”.
A few days later, as they laid Him in Joseph’s tomb, the
smell of that spikenard would still be in the air.
Jesus also said that what Mary had done would bless people all around the
world.
(Mark
14:9 NKJV) Assuredly, I say to you, wherever this gospel is preached in the
whole world, what this woman has done will also be told as a memorial to her.”
When we do worship right, it blesses those around us.
d.
It is for Jesus
In the end, we don’t do “worship” for others.
We don’t worship so other people will notice or be
“blessed”. We do it for Jesus.
Before William Watson Purkey (b.1929) was a professor, he was a bomb
disposal expert for the Air Force. He wrote,
“Sing like no one’s listening, love like you’ve never been
hurt, dance like nobody’s watching, and live like its heaven on earth.”
Chris Tomlin put those thoughts into a worship song (The
Way I Was Made):
I want to live like there’s no tomorrow
I want to dance like no one’s around
I want to sing like nobody’s listening
Before I lay my body down
Well, worship isn’t for “nobody”. We do it for Jesus.
There’s ONE who is watching…
When David brought the Ark of the Covenant into his
capital city, pay attention to who he was trying to impress.
(2
Samuel 6:14 NKJV) Then David danced before the Lord
with all his might; and David was wearing a linen ephod.
Don’t misunderstand me, I’m not trying to encourage you to
make a big scene at church and act “over the top”. That’s bringing attention to
yourself, not Jesus.
But make sure that as you worship, you are doing it for
Jesus, not those around you.
Those are our lessons from Mary and Martha.
Quiz
From the lecture (10pts):
1. Learning and Yielding
2. Serve with balance
3. Jesus understands
4. It’s not over
5. Extravagant Worship
Homework
Assignment:
Read: Romaine: Assistant Pastor (7 pgs)
Memorize:
(Mark 10:43–44
NKJV) —43 Yet it shall not be so among you; but whoever desires to become
great among you shall be your servant. 44 And whoever
of you desires to be first shall be slave of all.
Next week is Superbowl Sunday. Rather than creating a conflict, we will NOT
be meeting in person, and I’m going to ask you each to do the class “online”.
Prayer/Blessing